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Adoption Ages and Stages
What to Expect By Sabrina Glidden
Nancy Roberts of Excelsior Springs, Mo., first noticed her daughter, Stephanie, experiencing grief about losing her biological family at the age of 14. Although Stephanie had full knowledge and memory of her adoption when she was 4 years old, it was not until this later stage that the full weight of the meaning of adoption began to manifest.
"She just came out and said what she was thinking and feeling," Roberts says. It was the next step in a process the family has experienced from the beginning. "We have always freely discussed the subject whenever the opportunity arose, answering their questions completely in an age- and stage-appropriate manner."
For that first year with the Champnellas, Jacqueline struggled to establish trust with her new family. "At first it came as quite a jolt to me," says Champnella. "She kept a bag at the end of her bed in case she had to move again. I had to allow her that until she outgrew it."
Studies show that developmental outcomes are affected by adoption. A National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) article discusses various experiences, such as a child being assigned to make a family tree in their schools, as being among those opportunities for growth in understanding his own place within his family. Feelings of insecurity may surface as the absence of genetic ties becomes clear. This and less subtle events along the stages of growth present adoptive parents with several opportunities to help their child feel whole in the process.
